You ask me to read to you, and I have to pause every few minutes to soothe the tired baby.
You gasp in excitement as I come downstairs with him in the morning, barely able to contain yourself as you hug and kiss him.
The other day my partner and I were on a long drive with our daughter. We were trying to keep her happy in the car. She asked for a snack and demanded I give her the whole bag of crackers. My initial response was, “no, I don’t want a mess all over the car.” My partner suggested just giving her the bag in order to avoid a melt down. I relented and gave her the bag and it was fine – no huge mess in the car. It brought up a pretty big issue for me, though. Not so much my partner disagreeing with a limit that I tried to set, though that is annoying, but how our current parenting approach requires a lot of change on my part.
I can’t go back in time, so I’ll never know if things would have been better if I knew then what I know now. I am hopeful that my awareness going into my second postpartum period will help ease that transition just a bit. It’s like the difference between starting my very first job and my tenth job. I know it will still be challenging, but I also know that it will get easier. I’ve also learned a few more strategies to cope with the ups and downs of the postpartum period.
Here are10 things I wish I knew before having my first baby.
A couple weeks ago I read a blog post titled something like “What Science Tells us About Newborn Sleep,” and it made me totally question my decisions to co-sleep with my first and soon to be second baby. And not in a good way. I’m not linking to the article because a) I tried to erase it from my memory, and b) it ended up being yet another source telling me I should have pushed my baby to sleep on her own.
Today I want to talk about why it’s so challenging to leave the house, why it’s still important to get help now, and how you can get postpartum help, even without leaving the house. I know that you will leave the house again, and that things may be hard right now.
When I was parenting a newborn baby I really struggled to accept her dependence on me. I entered parenthood with the idea that I would be loving and nurturing, but I would also encourage independence. When it came to newborn care, this meant I wouldn’t hold my baby 24-7, I wouldn’t be overly responsive to her grunts and squeaks in the middle of the night, and I would let her know that it was ok to be in this world on her own. Two years later, it now sounds so unrealistic and harsh to have approached parenting this way, but I think this parenting approach is more common than it’s counterpart – attachment parenting.